Today is the last day of August. Today I noticed the sky was a deep blue with wispy white clouds. The smoke from the California (Chips) fire has moved through. But then this afternoon, the sky was a lighter blue and there were more clouds, and the forecast for tomorrow is a cooler temp and partly cloudy.
I sat out in the shade today, sitting with the dog while I read a book. It was a nice temperature then. August is such a strange month, school has started, but it's still summer. We have weeks left, but already the signs are here that summer is leaving us. No two months ever seem as separated to me as August and October, but last week I saw Halloween displays of candy going in at the local grocery store.
In Reno, there are things happening at the end of summer. The Rib Cook-off is happening this week, and then there will be the balloon festival, the air races, street vibrations, all in September. All of July is Artown and there is the Independence Day holiday to boot. July always feels very busy. August always feels very lazy, as if we've given up trying to get anything done, and we are just holding onto the days of vacation that we have left. But some schools are starting back up in August, and next year my children's schools will begin in mid-August.
Last weekend the older girl and I went to San Francisco where we saw Les Miserables. It was chilly there, overcast the whole time, we had to wear jackets. On Saturday morning, we had breakfast at a little place with a patio and a heater there, which was needed because of the cold. I want to visit San Francisco more frequently or at least one good sightseeing visit, but I don't want to live there.
The past couple of years, we've ended up in Sacramento in mid to late August, and we visit the old town area. It's near the American River, and we see all the trains there, but it's empty. Everything feels empty there on a late afternoon in August. I don't know where the people are, but there is something so lovely about it all in the late afternoon.
Since it is Labor Day weekend, the husband is home early, and we are all sitting comfortably in our house with the beautiful day around us. I can see it out the window, but I'm not in the 90˚ temperatures.
Friday, August 31, 2012
Saturday, August 18, 2012
18 August 2012
It's been gray, overcast, smoky and humid for awhile now, it seems; at least two weeks, which isn't particularly long, but then it starts to feel like this is the normal way of things. About a month ago, we went to visit friends who live in a wooded area near the Steamboat Ditch trail. The kids played in the water, but I didn't realize they could actually go swimming, so they didn't take suits. They had fun in the ditch nonetheless, getting completely soaked and just air drying outside. Then we had dinner.
It was somewhat overcast and humid then too, with thunderstorms moving in. Sitting in her house I could smell smoke at one point, but it wasn't until we opened the door that we realized there must be a fire somewhere. My friend's house backs up to tall hills, and I looked up the little valley to the peaks to see if I could see flames, but all I could see were whitish drifting clouds from the rain. It did rain at her house, but it's always such a small amount by the time it crosses over the Carson Range, so I fire could be burning somewhere.
We decided to go and drive up in the neighborhoods on the hills above. I'd never actually driven up there, and there were lovely night views of the city. We drove for awhile until we hit a new subdivision that said it was part of Caughlin Ranch. I decided I had gone far enough without seeing anything so I turned around there. I passed a firetruck heading the way I had just come, and figured if there had been a fire, someone already knew about it. We continued to wind our way around when I saw a frog right in the middle of the dark street. I asked if the kids had seen it, and neither had. I was worried that it might get hit by a car, so I made a U-turn and went back. No one was coming, so I stopped with the blinkers on to get out and examine it. A car did come while we were trying to scare the frog across the road, and they waited for us, but then honked for a long time as they drove by.
We ended up finding a place to park, and then I took a photo of the frog. After I got home, I walked the dog and thought I saw something in the distance, like flickering lights. So when the walk was done, I got in the car and drove up the hill, just to make sure things were fine, that there weren't any errant fires in the nearby hills. It seemed like an odd night at the time, but since then there have been more thunderstorms, sudden downpours and unending smoke from the California fires.
It was somewhat overcast and humid then too, with thunderstorms moving in. Sitting in her house I could smell smoke at one point, but it wasn't until we opened the door that we realized there must be a fire somewhere. My friend's house backs up to tall hills, and I looked up the little valley to the peaks to see if I could see flames, but all I could see were whitish drifting clouds from the rain. It did rain at her house, but it's always such a small amount by the time it crosses over the Carson Range, so I fire could be burning somewhere.
We decided to go and drive up in the neighborhoods on the hills above. I'd never actually driven up there, and there were lovely night views of the city. We drove for awhile until we hit a new subdivision that said it was part of Caughlin Ranch. I decided I had gone far enough without seeing anything so I turned around there. I passed a firetruck heading the way I had just come, and figured if there had been a fire, someone already knew about it. We continued to wind our way around when I saw a frog right in the middle of the dark street. I asked if the kids had seen it, and neither had. I was worried that it might get hit by a car, so I made a U-turn and went back. No one was coming, so I stopped with the blinkers on to get out and examine it. A car did come while we were trying to scare the frog across the road, and they waited for us, but then honked for a long time as they drove by.
Saturday, June 16, 2012
15 June 2012
Tonight I went to a Reno Aces game with my younger daughter. The last time we went, we parked out on the street somewhere and walked in. This time I missed what was the last parking space on that street, and as I drove closer, there were weren't anymore, so we parked in the parking garage. A group of people from church went, so we all sat together in section 102, which is always pretty fun. I walked around the stadium, trying to do the 3 laps for a mile, but I found other people I knew from church, so I stopped and talked to them all. The Aces won, then we watched the fireworks.
After it was over, the girl and I went out and played in the big grassy area near the entrance. People were throwing balls and running, and one boy was riding a bike. I figured that it would take a long time to get out of the parking garage, so we just hung out there for awhile, until some of the lights were turned off.
Leaving the garage, we drove out on second street, crossed over the Truckee and took High street down to Ryland. Once I got in the vicinity of Art Museum and Arlington, I feel like I'm in the Reno I know. It's funny how the downtown part can seem almost foreign. Even driving up Virginia to midtown is a different experience. This got me thinking about how there are so many people here, working on really building up some of these parts of town to make them well populated business areas that draw a lot of people. I like that we do that, yet I don't know what the answer is for the concrete ghost towns we have now, that used to be thriving shopping centers.
Recycled Records could have stayed where it was, in my opinion. I hope their new location helps their business, but I actually liked going to their old location because it was easy to park, Swensen's is there, and I didn't feel like I was going to drive over bicyclists and pedestrians just trying to slowly make my way down the road. There is almost nothing left where Swensen's is now--the hair cutting places, the big furniture stores, the Mervyn's are all gone.
Parklane Mall was torn down supposedly to be revitalized or rebuilt, but that never happened. It's fenced off to keep people out, which has had the effect of turning it into a seagull refuge. Maybe the owners should think about putting a pond in, and just giving the whole thing over to the birds. Heidi's, which was on Virginia and not really a part of Parklane, got torn down as part of it all, since their property was owned by the same people. And now that cute restaurant is gone, and I'm sure their business has suffered as a result, because the only location in Reno is now way south where Denny's used to be.
All of this reminds me that we've driven up to so many restaurants only to find they had gone out of business: Jeremiah's, Austin's, the little restaurant where Extreme Pizza is now, Bajios, Tahoe Burger, Sezmu (and Bec's Custard before that), Cheeseburger Island Style (and Friday's before that), Washoe Flats Steakhouse, Batch Cupcakery. But the Freighthouse District, which is where the Aces Ballpark is located, and the fairly new CommRow District seem to be doing well.
After it was over, the girl and I went out and played in the big grassy area near the entrance. People were throwing balls and running, and one boy was riding a bike. I figured that it would take a long time to get out of the parking garage, so we just hung out there for awhile, until some of the lights were turned off.
Leaving the garage, we drove out on second street, crossed over the Truckee and took High street down to Ryland. Once I got in the vicinity of Art Museum and Arlington, I feel like I'm in the Reno I know. It's funny how the downtown part can seem almost foreign. Even driving up Virginia to midtown is a different experience. This got me thinking about how there are so many people here, working on really building up some of these parts of town to make them well populated business areas that draw a lot of people. I like that we do that, yet I don't know what the answer is for the concrete ghost towns we have now, that used to be thriving shopping centers.
Recycled Records could have stayed where it was, in my opinion. I hope their new location helps their business, but I actually liked going to their old location because it was easy to park, Swensen's is there, and I didn't feel like I was going to drive over bicyclists and pedestrians just trying to slowly make my way down the road. There is almost nothing left where Swensen's is now--the hair cutting places, the big furniture stores, the Mervyn's are all gone.
Parklane Mall was torn down supposedly to be revitalized or rebuilt, but that never happened. It's fenced off to keep people out, which has had the effect of turning it into a seagull refuge. Maybe the owners should think about putting a pond in, and just giving the whole thing over to the birds. Heidi's, which was on Virginia and not really a part of Parklane, got torn down as part of it all, since their property was owned by the same people. And now that cute restaurant is gone, and I'm sure their business has suffered as a result, because the only location in Reno is now way south where Denny's used to be.
All of this reminds me that we've driven up to so many restaurants only to find they had gone out of business: Jeremiah's, Austin's, the little restaurant where Extreme Pizza is now, Bajios, Tahoe Burger, Sezmu (and Bec's Custard before that), Cheeseburger Island Style (and Friday's before that), Washoe Flats Steakhouse, Batch Cupcakery. But the Freighthouse District, which is where the Aces Ballpark is located, and the fairly new CommRow District seem to be doing well.
Thursday, June 7, 2012
6 June 2012
Today was the last day of school for the girls. I woke up this morning at 5 am, then started thinking about things and all that regretful nostalgia that seems to attack me at night. I finally fell back asleep, then had dreams where people kept ignoring me or stealing my stuff, and I finally had to get mean before people would pay any attention to me. I woke up as my older daughter was leaving for school. The younger one was already up, but I guess needed something, so she was sitting outside the door, causing it to bounce against the jamb, or something. Normally the dog does that. In the middle of my getting dressed routine, the older girl texted me from school (I guess she had opportunity on the last day to do this), to tell me she forgot to turn in her check for geometry camp. I had to run the check up there at around 7:45, and I was able to talk to her Algebra teacher. I found out that she got 59/60 correct on her CBE, which was a 98%. That made me very happy for the rest of the day.
The weather has been chilly the last couple of days. On Monday in the second grade class, there was a walking field trip to a park a mile away. I signed up to bring pizza, so I walked down to Godfather's once we got to the park. But the cold front moved in, bringing terrible wind. The kids walked back to school wrapped in their picnic blankets, and I ended up getting stuck at the back of the line with the 3 slowest girls, and my daughter who was slightly ahead, but kept lagging, waiting for us. Tuesday was field day, but it was cold! I ended up helping the librarian out with her event, the wet sponge toss. The girl was not looking forward to field day, but when I saw her there, she said she was having fun.
Today the middle school let out at 11 am, so I didn't really have time to do much of anything other than run around and buy some teacher gifts. I went to Napa-Sonoma, Barnes & Noble and Raley's. Then I picked up the older girl and we came home where I prepared a lunch for the younger one; we both went to the school and all had a picnic lunch together out on the front lawn of the school. Finally they were able to eat outside again because the temperature got up into the mid-60's by lunch time, and it was quite nice in the sun.
I'm always rather sad on the last day of school, and yet happy and excited too. Then I feel like we can do many things, there is so much promise at the beginning. There are so many languages to learn, stories to write, things we can do! I bought a leather bound copy of the complete works of Shakespeare today at Barnes & Noble while I was buying a gift card for the teacher. I wanted to thumb through it and read different things, specifically the sonnets. Then I thought it might be fun to write a sonnet, but when I mentioned it to the older girl, she did not agree. I asked her for some ideas, and she said love or death--isn't that all sonnets talk about? Oh, I'm sure we could find something funnier.
I walked the dog tonight, and again I notice how nice the peaches and cherries are looking. I only wish we had a fruit tree. The birds are already getting the cherries, so I plucked one from the tree I passed, and ate it, and it was pretty good.
The weather has been chilly the last couple of days. On Monday in the second grade class, there was a walking field trip to a park a mile away. I signed up to bring pizza, so I walked down to Godfather's once we got to the park. But the cold front moved in, bringing terrible wind. The kids walked back to school wrapped in their picnic blankets, and I ended up getting stuck at the back of the line with the 3 slowest girls, and my daughter who was slightly ahead, but kept lagging, waiting for us. Tuesday was field day, but it was cold! I ended up helping the librarian out with her event, the wet sponge toss. The girl was not looking forward to field day, but when I saw her there, she said she was having fun.
Today the middle school let out at 11 am, so I didn't really have time to do much of anything other than run around and buy some teacher gifts. I went to Napa-Sonoma, Barnes & Noble and Raley's. Then I picked up the older girl and we came home where I prepared a lunch for the younger one; we both went to the school and all had a picnic lunch together out on the front lawn of the school. Finally they were able to eat outside again because the temperature got up into the mid-60's by lunch time, and it was quite nice in the sun.
I'm always rather sad on the last day of school, and yet happy and excited too. Then I feel like we can do many things, there is so much promise at the beginning. There are so many languages to learn, stories to write, things we can do! I bought a leather bound copy of the complete works of Shakespeare today at Barnes & Noble while I was buying a gift card for the teacher. I wanted to thumb through it and read different things, specifically the sonnets. Then I thought it might be fun to write a sonnet, but when I mentioned it to the older girl, she did not agree. I asked her for some ideas, and she said love or death--isn't that all sonnets talk about? Oh, I'm sure we could find something funnier.
I walked the dog tonight, and again I notice how nice the peaches and cherries are looking. I only wish we had a fruit tree. The birds are already getting the cherries, so I plucked one from the tree I passed, and ate it, and it was pretty good.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
29 May 2012
We had a restful Memorial Day weekend here, but cold. Friday it was sleeting and raining, Saturday was more of the same. Sunday warmed into the 60's, and the children were able to swim in the pool we had been heating. Monday morning, the youngest was ready to go out swimming right away. I went down and worked on weeding the Virginia Creeper that is taking over, and all the little cottonwood and popular saplings trying to grow in the worst places. I also hacked down a remarkable flowering weed that started showing up a few years ago, but is so close to the bricked edge that it just overflows to the next terrace. It's tall and green right now, but dries to yellow sticks in the fall. I laid those tender vines over top my arugula plants, that are just barely showing up in the soil. I also repotted my tomatoes into the larger, outdoor pots.
In addition, I read two books this weekend: Dragonsong and Dragonsinger. I also practiced my viola, and then at night after the kids were in bed, I started watching the Revenge series which John purchased from iTunes for me. I can get through quite a few episodes when there are no commercial interruptions. It's amazing how fast it can be.
This morning I was talking to a mom at the elementary school. Apparently two of the teachers from the Immersion program have had enough, and got jobs elsewhere in the county. The older daughter's 5th grade teacher is one of these, and it's a shame, as she is one of the best teachers my daughter has ever had. This teacher had moved to the Immersion class two years ago, but there is a lot of criticism from the 3rd grade parents who don't believe their children are actually learning Spanish, so they are leaving the headaches behind. They would have had to deal with the same parents for another 3 years, unfortunately.
My friend mentioned how the parents don't really value homework, they don't volunteer in the class, and the children have a lot of athletic practices that can get in the way of schoolwork. I don't always value homework either, I must admit. Sometimes it just feels like it's meant to drill and keep you in practice, so can become like drudgery after awhile, although I do sort of feel the more you do, the easier it is. When I was in fifth grade, I remember doing pages of multiplying two 3 digit numbers, and the whole thing seemed interminable. I understood the principles, but I hated it. There is a certain amount of math I can do easily now, but I'd still be hard pressed to find any joy out of multiplying or dividing multi-digit numbers just to keep in practice. Still, I recognize it hasn't become rote with my second grader yet.
With the older one, homework was always necessary, so that her father or I could actually teach her the math principles she wasn't grasping. At one point, maybe around 3rd grade, I found myself trying to break down the explanation into as simple a one as possible, but she still wasn't getting it. I found myself resorting to yelling, "But it's base 10, it's base 10" because she didn't seem to grasp the simple concept of doing things in tens. Finally her father sat down with her and told her the story of Gorp, the caveman, who needed to figure out how to count berries, or some such thing. He broke it down farther than I had even thought was necessary, I guess, but it worked. Now, with Algebra, he can spend several hours working with her on that during the week. She tried going to algebra tutoring, but it was her working alone and having to ask questions of the teacher, and she didn't feel comfortable doing that, so she decided to stick with working with her dad.
I've noticed, though, that went it comes to athletics, they seem to trump all. They can get in the way of church, of family meals, of weekends together, of other rehearsals, of homework, of play. They are serious. You can't just go to school and try out for an athletic team; you need to have already been playing on the various community leagues and teams. So my kids will probably never play any sport at this point in their life in school, unless it's in a school gym setting. It would be nice if there was a way just to play for fun and exercise, however, just as you can sing in a community group mainly for fun. The children's choir only rehearses once a week, and even that can be too much for some people. During the time they were preparing for the World Choir Games in Shaoxing, the kids started rehearsing together twice a week. When I played in a symphony orchestra, we rehearsed twice a week, and then had a Friday night rehearsal before a concert weekend that had two concerts. The Sacramento Children's Chorus rehearses twice a week. To get serious about the music, I think we'd have to rehearse more, but everyone seems too divided with all the activities they have to do.
I wonder is it possible to have some community sports teams that are more about having fun together, and some community choirs that can take it to a new level of artistry.
In addition, I read two books this weekend: Dragonsong and Dragonsinger. I also practiced my viola, and then at night after the kids were in bed, I started watching the Revenge series which John purchased from iTunes for me. I can get through quite a few episodes when there are no commercial interruptions. It's amazing how fast it can be.
This morning I was talking to a mom at the elementary school. Apparently two of the teachers from the Immersion program have had enough, and got jobs elsewhere in the county. The older daughter's 5th grade teacher is one of these, and it's a shame, as she is one of the best teachers my daughter has ever had. This teacher had moved to the Immersion class two years ago, but there is a lot of criticism from the 3rd grade parents who don't believe their children are actually learning Spanish, so they are leaving the headaches behind. They would have had to deal with the same parents for another 3 years, unfortunately.
My friend mentioned how the parents don't really value homework, they don't volunteer in the class, and the children have a lot of athletic practices that can get in the way of schoolwork. I don't always value homework either, I must admit. Sometimes it just feels like it's meant to drill and keep you in practice, so can become like drudgery after awhile, although I do sort of feel the more you do, the easier it is. When I was in fifth grade, I remember doing pages of multiplying two 3 digit numbers, and the whole thing seemed interminable. I understood the principles, but I hated it. There is a certain amount of math I can do easily now, but I'd still be hard pressed to find any joy out of multiplying or dividing multi-digit numbers just to keep in practice. Still, I recognize it hasn't become rote with my second grader yet.
With the older one, homework was always necessary, so that her father or I could actually teach her the math principles she wasn't grasping. At one point, maybe around 3rd grade, I found myself trying to break down the explanation into as simple a one as possible, but she still wasn't getting it. I found myself resorting to yelling, "But it's base 10, it's base 10" because she didn't seem to grasp the simple concept of doing things in tens. Finally her father sat down with her and told her the story of Gorp, the caveman, who needed to figure out how to count berries, or some such thing. He broke it down farther than I had even thought was necessary, I guess, but it worked. Now, with Algebra, he can spend several hours working with her on that during the week. She tried going to algebra tutoring, but it was her working alone and having to ask questions of the teacher, and she didn't feel comfortable doing that, so she decided to stick with working with her dad.
I've noticed, though, that went it comes to athletics, they seem to trump all. They can get in the way of church, of family meals, of weekends together, of other rehearsals, of homework, of play. They are serious. You can't just go to school and try out for an athletic team; you need to have already been playing on the various community leagues and teams. So my kids will probably never play any sport at this point in their life in school, unless it's in a school gym setting. It would be nice if there was a way just to play for fun and exercise, however, just as you can sing in a community group mainly for fun. The children's choir only rehearses once a week, and even that can be too much for some people. During the time they were preparing for the World Choir Games in Shaoxing, the kids started rehearsing together twice a week. When I played in a symphony orchestra, we rehearsed twice a week, and then had a Friday night rehearsal before a concert weekend that had two concerts. The Sacramento Children's Chorus rehearses twice a week. To get serious about the music, I think we'd have to rehearse more, but everyone seems too divided with all the activities they have to do.
I wonder is it possible to have some community sports teams that are more about having fun together, and some community choirs that can take it to a new level of artistry.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
24 May 2012
Earlier this week, perhaps Monday, I walked the dog around 8:15 and I was struck by how warm it was. It felt humid and I expected the air to cool me, but it did not. I checked the weather widget on my iPhone and it said it was 72˚F. I didn't see how that was possible, so I checked Wunderground for the humidity, and found that the temp and humidity readings at the closest location to me were 75˚ and 30%. That made more sense. I also downloaded Wunderground's smart phone app.
This morning I got up and put on a long sleeved shirt, because I heard it was going to be cold. And it was! I whipped my phone out again and checked my Wunderground app, which proclaimed it to be 60˚ F. No way was it that warm, my nose and forehead were cold by this point. So I checked my iPhone widget which said 46˚ F. Then I checked the Wunderground website, and saw that it was 50˚ with 35% humidity. All the readings on the map overlay were from 45˚ to 51˚ F. The one aberration was the KNRV site which said 60˚--even the airport said 48˚. So having other sources to confirm what I already was feeling was useful. The sun was hot on my back, and it felt warmer than 50˚ by the time I got back, so what I'm feeling is so dependent on other things too. When I write in the middle of the night, I'm much more emotional and, I believe, more eloquent. If you don't trust what you are feeling, wait a bit, I suppose.
I've been thinking lately of the hate the sin, love the sinner maxim that has been making more of an appearance more these days. I'm trying to make sense of it. If sin is a vice, a bad habit, an unhealthful practice like not getting enough sleep, smoking or the overconsumption of goods and the resultant waste that engenders--something that probably should be changed whether the person is willing to or not, then I suppose I can hate the sin. Fat people & smokers may fall into this category. Gay people may too, for some.
If the sin is something worse, like drug use that causes the "sinner" to harm other people by both legal and illegal means, that's something else. But you still may love the person as much as you detest what is happening to them. Or you may not, you may write them off completely as unwilling to leave their destructive lifestyle in favor of treatment. Gay people and fat people may fall into this category, as well as substance abusers.
If the person has beliefs and practices that are detestable to you, it is still possible to love the person even as you hate their politics. Right wing social conservatives fall into this category for me for the most part. Actually, even fiscally conservative Republicans who think they are doing good fall into this category, the first group is trickier. It's harder when the beliefs are so divergent that you feel that they are hurting people and choosing to bring sorrow into the world. Bigots--the people who want to keep a system in place that benefits the status while denying rights and power to a large group of people, it's hard to actually hard to believe they are just misguided. I try to, I try to love racists, I try to see people as a composite of good and bad with the bad not tainting the whole person. Especially since so many of us are racists just by the fact that we don't examine the practices and structures which keep exploitation in place.
But finally I come to my main idea, the one that got me thinking on all of this. I have been feeling very angry towards the Catholic church. Almost as soon as I was thinking it, the love the sinner hate the sin idea came into my head. But I don't know that I can love or find value in institutions that perpetrate crimes on people. I've always thought there was so much, good and bad about the Church that the important thing was to keep the good, throw out the bad, honor what was right. Now I think that maybe the whole thing needs to be dismantled and burned to the ground, and then rebuilt. I feel that the foundations are so corrupt, it's not possible to keep shoring up the main structure at this point.
I was not actually able to finish my thoughts on this topic before I had to leave the house. Suffice it to say that I know my opinions would be offensive to people, and it seems that I'm throwing the baby out with the bathwater, which has always been the opinion I've had. Our history will always be our history, we can't change it, we can just acknowledge how it influences us today, and move away from some of that influence rather than embracing it. But sometimes it seems impossible to overcome the decay of many years, especially when people refuse to open their eyes to the problem.
This morning I got up and put on a long sleeved shirt, because I heard it was going to be cold. And it was! I whipped my phone out again and checked my Wunderground app, which proclaimed it to be 60˚ F. No way was it that warm, my nose and forehead were cold by this point. So I checked my iPhone widget which said 46˚ F. Then I checked the Wunderground website, and saw that it was 50˚ with 35% humidity. All the readings on the map overlay were from 45˚ to 51˚ F. The one aberration was the KNRV site which said 60˚--even the airport said 48˚. So having other sources to confirm what I already was feeling was useful. The sun was hot on my back, and it felt warmer than 50˚ by the time I got back, so what I'm feeling is so dependent on other things too. When I write in the middle of the night, I'm much more emotional and, I believe, more eloquent. If you don't trust what you are feeling, wait a bit, I suppose.
I've been thinking lately of the hate the sin, love the sinner maxim that has been making more of an appearance more these days. I'm trying to make sense of it. If sin is a vice, a bad habit, an unhealthful practice like not getting enough sleep, smoking or the overconsumption of goods and the resultant waste that engenders--something that probably should be changed whether the person is willing to or not, then I suppose I can hate the sin. Fat people & smokers may fall into this category. Gay people may too, for some.
If the sin is something worse, like drug use that causes the "sinner" to harm other people by both legal and illegal means, that's something else. But you still may love the person as much as you detest what is happening to them. Or you may not, you may write them off completely as unwilling to leave their destructive lifestyle in favor of treatment. Gay people and fat people may fall into this category, as well as substance abusers.
If the person has beliefs and practices that are detestable to you, it is still possible to love the person even as you hate their politics. Right wing social conservatives fall into this category for me for the most part. Actually, even fiscally conservative Republicans who think they are doing good fall into this category, the first group is trickier. It's harder when the beliefs are so divergent that you feel that they are hurting people and choosing to bring sorrow into the world. Bigots--the people who want to keep a system in place that benefits the status while denying rights and power to a large group of people, it's hard to actually hard to believe they are just misguided. I try to, I try to love racists, I try to see people as a composite of good and bad with the bad not tainting the whole person. Especially since so many of us are racists just by the fact that we don't examine the practices and structures which keep exploitation in place.
But finally I come to my main idea, the one that got me thinking on all of this. I have been feeling very angry towards the Catholic church. Almost as soon as I was thinking it, the love the sinner hate the sin idea came into my head. But I don't know that I can love or find value in institutions that perpetrate crimes on people. I've always thought there was so much, good and bad about the Church that the important thing was to keep the good, throw out the bad, honor what was right. Now I think that maybe the whole thing needs to be dismantled and burned to the ground, and then rebuilt. I feel that the foundations are so corrupt, it's not possible to keep shoring up the main structure at this point.
I was not actually able to finish my thoughts on this topic before I had to leave the house. Suffice it to say that I know my opinions would be offensive to people, and it seems that I'm throwing the baby out with the bathwater, which has always been the opinion I've had. Our history will always be our history, we can't change it, we can just acknowledge how it influences us today, and move away from some of that influence rather than embracing it. But sometimes it seems impossible to overcome the decay of many years, especially when people refuse to open their eyes to the problem.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
22 May 2012
Today the Nevada Arts Council Partner-in-Excellence grants are due, so of course I stayed up until 3 am, trying to at least get down my complete narrative. When I first started this process, the narrative section seemed easy, but I skipped around and chose which questions to answer, figuring inspiration would strike later when I returned to the questions I found dull or problematic. And inspiration did strike in the sense that I have a better sense of what I feel my organization is trying to achieve. The issue then becomes how do I make my narrative fit their questions. When fitting questions to your own agenda, it's important to come across as stealthily as a polished diplomat, not as glaringly obvious as a Presidential candidate. Attempting to take their questions at face value doesn't work, as either the questions seem repetitive or non-relevant. So trying to get my ideas across in a way that explains what we are trying to do while somehow trying it into the question being asked is crucial.
The following question seems like it should be simple enough: 1. Describe your community and include: (a) its location in the state, (b) relevant community characteristics, and (c) demographics of its population. If you cite census data, please relate it to your programming decisions. I had an almost boilerplate answer for this last year, taken from the grants from the year before. All I had to do was recheck the latest census data. And, of course, in answering a question about the demographics of a population, I must use Census data, what else would I do? Yet they seem to be asking a different question, one I can't quite tease out. Tell us about your community, and don't try and skate by on this question by citing Census data. If you insist on using it, make it relevant. But how are the demographics of my community really relevant? From casual observation, the demographics of our concert are similar.
Early this morning, at 3 am as I was brushing my teeth before collapsing into bed, I thought maybe they really do want to know very specifically what the demographics of our audiences are. Maybe they want to know if the demographics of our audience match what I state in the population of my community. Maybe they want a better idea of what my community is, they don't want me to cite data about the Reno/Sparks/Tahoe/Carson area at large. But that is our community. This is who we try to reach, this is who we want to reach. That is how we envision our community.
Part of my difficulty here is my own opinion of Reno, recently formed in the last few years, when I see big commercial music acts getting lots of press and/or acclaim, but choral music getting not a lot of attention when choral music is much more accessible to the community at large in terms of performance opportunities. And choral music can be such a varied and complex art. Choral groups are so big in other countries, and choral singing has been taken to new levels of performance with the standards and judging criteria being set by organizations like Musica Mundi. When Reno has a choral festival, who comes? Mostly people from other states and other countries. They come and stay in the hotels and eat dinner, and spend money, and they are their own audience, since such a small segment of this community actually attends these concerts, many of which are ticketed but free.
When the American International Choir Festival was here, the news came out and filmed my choir singing on state for a panel. I came home eagerly to TiVo the news, and was disappointed to find out that they were only playing it from the angle of, "look how small this is, look how much money was wasted, RSCVA debacle!" Reno's craptastic attitude is a major part of the problem in attracting new events and new tourists. It's not all about how many hotel room dollars events are going to bring in, how we evaluate the worth of an event compared to the cost of having it is more complex. I think that Reno did get screwed by the Interkultur, because in wanting to hold successful choir festivals in the US, they are perhaps not considering their audience. The cost of actually attending their events as a performing group are prohibitive, and if you're trying to get something new off the ground, something that already doesn't have status, you're going to have to offer a bigger incentive.
But Reno should also consider the question of whether an event enriches the area culturally by providing something to its residents, whether the residents will be supportive and make an event a success, and whether the combination of these things can help define the city as a venue for future world class events that may prove to be more lucrative. With the grant application, I'm somewhat disappointed that they chose to end with a very boring question, that doesn't seem to lend itself to a good meaty answer. I wish they had streamlined this process even more so that my narrative could read like an essay, and I could end with the question of why we deserve state funding, instead of having it stuck up near the top.
The following question seems like it should be simple enough: 1. Describe your community and include: (a) its location in the state, (b) relevant community characteristics, and (c) demographics of its population. If you cite census data, please relate it to your programming decisions. I had an almost boilerplate answer for this last year, taken from the grants from the year before. All I had to do was recheck the latest census data. And, of course, in answering a question about the demographics of a population, I must use Census data, what else would I do? Yet they seem to be asking a different question, one I can't quite tease out. Tell us about your community, and don't try and skate by on this question by citing Census data. If you insist on using it, make it relevant. But how are the demographics of my community really relevant? From casual observation, the demographics of our concert are similar.
Early this morning, at 3 am as I was brushing my teeth before collapsing into bed, I thought maybe they really do want to know very specifically what the demographics of our audiences are. Maybe they want to know if the demographics of our audience match what I state in the population of my community. Maybe they want a better idea of what my community is, they don't want me to cite data about the Reno/Sparks/Tahoe/Carson area at large. But that is our community. This is who we try to reach, this is who we want to reach. That is how we envision our community.
Part of my difficulty here is my own opinion of Reno, recently formed in the last few years, when I see big commercial music acts getting lots of press and/or acclaim, but choral music getting not a lot of attention when choral music is much more accessible to the community at large in terms of performance opportunities. And choral music can be such a varied and complex art. Choral groups are so big in other countries, and choral singing has been taken to new levels of performance with the standards and judging criteria being set by organizations like Musica Mundi. When Reno has a choral festival, who comes? Mostly people from other states and other countries. They come and stay in the hotels and eat dinner, and spend money, and they are their own audience, since such a small segment of this community actually attends these concerts, many of which are ticketed but free.
When the American International Choir Festival was here, the news came out and filmed my choir singing on state for a panel. I came home eagerly to TiVo the news, and was disappointed to find out that they were only playing it from the angle of, "look how small this is, look how much money was wasted, RSCVA debacle!" Reno's craptastic attitude is a major part of the problem in attracting new events and new tourists. It's not all about how many hotel room dollars events are going to bring in, how we evaluate the worth of an event compared to the cost of having it is more complex. I think that Reno did get screwed by the Interkultur, because in wanting to hold successful choir festivals in the US, they are perhaps not considering their audience. The cost of actually attending their events as a performing group are prohibitive, and if you're trying to get something new off the ground, something that already doesn't have status, you're going to have to offer a bigger incentive.
But Reno should also consider the question of whether an event enriches the area culturally by providing something to its residents, whether the residents will be supportive and make an event a success, and whether the combination of these things can help define the city as a venue for future world class events that may prove to be more lucrative. With the grant application, I'm somewhat disappointed that they chose to end with a very boring question, that doesn't seem to lend itself to a good meaty answer. I wish they had streamlined this process even more so that my narrative could read like an essay, and I could end with the question of why we deserve state funding, instead of having it stuck up near the top.
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